Love Louisa...(3Sep09)

Hi everyone

I've been meditating on what I wrote last time, about longing for the presence of God that happens when we meet together. I've given it a lot of thought and I'm trying to work out how I feel and what I mean. And I've come to a sort of conclusion that it's not just a meeting with people for meetings sake but for His presence sake. I listened to Bertie Brits speak this weekend-highly recommended-www.dynamicministries.co.za, and he said he loves to meet casually with Gods people but if God and His ways and glorious doings aren't discussed he gets frustrated and disappointed! I understand what he means-we are just so desperate for a touch from God and evidence of His glory that sometimes nothing else will do.

But for me there is a tension between Word and Spirit on the one hand and people for Glory sake and people for relationship, for love sake. Rob Rufus teaches on the importance of hearing Gods Word and experiencing His powerful glorious presence-being drunk and recklessly joyful, in gay abandon experiencing all that He has for us. We need both equally.

And I'm beginning to understand that the desperate need for His physical presence and all that brings can override every thing else. I feel desperate and hard to live with. And it becomes almost a striving to get to that place no matter what it takes and then it becomes work…and I'm back in law. I begin to feel tired, inadequate and sometimes frustrated, with myself and those who haven't yet experienced and become addicted to this Glory experience, as I have. Forgetting how patient people and God are with me!! Does this make sense to anyone?

This is when I have to go back to Gods word and once again realize what grace really means and that I don't have to desperately, work at seeking His presence but that He Himself dwells permanently in me!!!!

When I meditate on His word, both in the bible and in my ear, my love for him and others wells up and out of me. And I begin to realize the preciousness of people and the importance God has placed on relationship. Then I can enjoy being with people, feel powerfully God in me, because I believe what he has promised and already done AND be gloriously drunk in His presence. This is the gospel of peace. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on His own, with no help from us! Then He picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus our Messiah.
Now God has us where He wants us, with all the time in the world to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all His idea, and all His work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. Ephesians 2: Message Bible.

Thank goodness it's not an all or nothing move of God, but a lot of everything, all working together to make me and the world a much better place…

Lots of love
Louisa